Are we worshipping Christianity or Christ?

Be still my soul.

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This is a reminder to me and a huge truth I have been telling myself but not allowing to take effect in my heart.

Be still my soul.

What does it mean to be still in soul? What can I do to allow my soul rest? Is it the prayers I'm praying half-heartedly, yet not taking time to meditate on the one I'm praying?

To be still, oh my soul, means putting away worry. Putting away stress, looking to the future with confidence that God is going to hold and faithfully bring me to and through those points of worry.

When I pray for peace and stillness with Jesus I'm not finding it. I'm not getting joy out of reading my Bible and feeling near to God.

Could this be that I've been blocking our communication? Have you ever met with a friend and began conversing but the other person talked the entire time without making eye contact with you? The other person was so caught up in his/her own life that whenever you try to get a word in he/she continues talking right over you. It's almost as if you aren't there at all. You care about this person, he/she is your friend and you are genuinely interested in their life, but their acknowledgement of your presence is not there.

What does God feel like when I talk to Him?

Am I just ranting on and on about my worries and problems and never stopping to listen, never letting my soul be still before Him?

The closeness and the intimacy I long for with Jesus is absent from my devotional life because I am shutting Him out. To read my Bible and spout a quick, needy prayer is not what God wants from us. Yes, I am busy! Being in college and working while enjoying friends can take all my time if I let it. But what is most important in my life? Who do I want to know more than anyone else? Who is the ONLY ONE who is going to fill that gap in my heart, the ONLY ONE who is able to bring me through a hard time or even just a really stressful day? Jesus! Only Jesus.

I want this to be a turning point for me. My interests are great and they're good. I love my social life, my friends, my boyfriend, and being involved in ministries and adventuring to new places. I so enjoy hobbies like photography and music and make-up, and I have no idea how much time I spend on instagram each week. But these things have become everything to me. The past year and a half I've been trying to let all these things take the place of Jesus in my heart. I've wanted something tangible and touchable to love and be filled with. Something I could see and get affirmation from. But what am I doing? I know better than this! I know Jesus is the only one who will ever be great enough to satisfy me. I know that. So why does this circle seem to loop around every couple months?

My challenge to myself, and to you, is to meditate on the Word of God. To study and spend time with the Lord. I want to say, "be still my soul" and know that to be true. I am so tired of faking my love for Jesus when in my heart I want to love Him more!

How many of us are doing this? Spending all of our time and emotion on things that aren't filling us, yet we profess to love Jesus and claim to be reading our Bibles and growing. We go to church and raise our hands in worship, but why are we there? Who are we worshipping? Are we worshipping the ideas of Christianity? Or are we worshipping Jesus Christ our redeemer?

God sees right through our religious acts and fake devotions. He wants our hearts, not our leftover time. It's time to readjust our schedules are make Jesus number one. If each day is to be lived for Jesus, why aren't we giving Him our hearts, our emotions, and our time?

When He becomes number one, then we can genuinely say, "be still my soul."